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About Varied / Student Member Chelsea21/Female/United States Recent Activity
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Artist | Student | Varied
United States
:iconsokki13: :iconsukinovadesu: <-------THESE ARE MAH BITCHES

Current Residence: Here
deviantWEAR sizing preference: M
Print preference: 4x6"
Favourite genre of music: classic rock or anything upbeat
Favourite style of art: anime
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: Sansa Disk
Wallpaper of choice: anything on
Favourite cartoon character: Ichigo Kurosaki
Personal Quote: "I can draw the world as happy as I want"
I think I may be depressed. Something's wrong with me when I keep thinking of all the sad/shitty things in my life and the thoughts don't stop coming. Well today I had a fight with my mom. (Cuz I wanted to go to an audition in Disney World for Hong Kong Disneyland.) I expected yelling but there was much more crying on both ends. And my dad even started crying when he saw me and my mom duking it out tearfully for an hour straight. And then she said "I'm not telling you what to do anymore! I'm babying you. You're gonna do everything on your own from now on! Everything from your laundry to registering for college!" Well I did want her to let me be a little more independent. This is not what I wanted. I've been dreading about telling her about the audition more than the audition itself (which I never went to btw) Actually, what I just told you was the second argument. When I initially said I wanted to audition, she threw a slew of words such as I'm crazy. That's childish. How stupid. Youre too old to work at Disney. Youre not 10 anymore. What if you get through? You'll have no friends or family and wont even be able to speak the language. Well I kinda said so it's like florida? Where I have no friends already. And she started crying. That was the first round of crying. "Well at least you have family!" she cried. Its true. But I consider myself having one foot out the door already. I'm already separated from more than 95% of my friends and family. And I was doing just fine for a year without my parents. Its great seeing them. But I wouldn't have a problem leaving everyone for 6 months if the Disney thing went through. I barely talk to anyone anyway. And now I'm worrying about a card I wrote to my grandma about wanting to go to the audition. And my uncle said my grandma is the same as my mom about these things. I didn't know. So now I'm afraid she's going to be calling my mom, yelling or crying and everyone in the family will think of me as a joke. A joke that didn't even go to the fucking audition. I also wrote in my card comparing myself to Cinderella by working in a dirty printshop and if Cinderella could do it, so can I. I am a fucking joke, aren't I? 
I just need to get out of here. This place isn't good for me. It's 90% my job and 10% my family. My job because well, you know. And my family because my mom just doesnt understand me. There is no medium for her when it comes to supporting me. It's either saying really hurtful things to me or not giving a shit anymore. And I value her opinion above everyone elses because she always makes the right decisions. I just wish she would support me and let me be independent but help me if I need it. Like with the Disney thing, she couldve just said "Don't do it. The chances are against you." instead of "stupid, childish, crazy, etc"
Back in NY I cried maybe once every other month. But now I'm crying once a week if not more. And I hate crying. It gives me a terrible headache and it stunts my daydreams.
  • Mood: Hopeless

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Thank you for the fav!~<3
FikryFadhillah Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
happy birthday, I wish you ALL the best!! :iconffallthe: 
Sakurawish Jan 2, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you! ^_^
SukiNoVaDesu Sep 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconhhhhplz: hi~
Sakurawish Sep 11, 2013  Student General Artist
HI :iconnickcageplz:
SukiNoVaDesu Sep 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sakurawish Sep 15, 2013  Student General Artist
(1 Reply)
Scribblekin Sep 5, 2013  Professional General Artist
thanks for the fav!
davebergstrom Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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